How to help children behave well

Show and tell the child how to you want him to behave.

Do not punish a child by telling her she is a bad person.

Give a reason for your rules.  Say “Walk but do not run with scissors.  You might fall and hurt yourself.”

Adult fiving child a rule

Set limits and let children know you understand their feelings.  Say “I know you are angry, but you cannot bite anyone.”

Offer another activity to your child.  Say “You cannot draw on the walls.  Here is some paper you can use.”

Tell children you love them.  Say “I love you but I do not like that you hurt your brother.”

Tell a child what she is doing well.  Say “You did a good job of helping with dinner.  Thank you.”

"My oldest child always helped the janitors in our building, especially if it was outside work. Every morning he would leave our apartment and pitch in. He expected to go and they expected him to be there. I think the entertainment value was mutual." 

—African American Caregiver

give them love