Child Care Question of the Month: You have questions, we have answers!

This month's question has been adapted from Child Care Aware's Daily Parent

I just got a phone call from my four year old's child care program Director. said my son is "out of control" - again. She went on to say that if this behavior happens one more time, my son will have to leave the program. What should I do?

This situation is real for many parents. It happens every day. A recent 2005 study from Yale University reveals that many prekindergarten children are expelled from their programs due to problem behaviors (the behaviors in this study were never identified)*. In fact, more PreK children are expelled than children in public schools from kindergarten through 12th grade.

*The problem behaviors were not identified in this report. For the full report, Prekindergartners Left Behind: Expulsion Rates in State Prekindergarten Systems by Walter Gilliam, Ph.D., Yale University Child Study Center, go to www.ffcd.org .

Most PreK programs are designed to help children develop the skills they need to do well in school. Many of these programs are targeted for children who are behind in basic learning skills. It is disturbing that children as young as three, four and five are being turned away from programs because of behavior concerns. Having a child expelled from child care or school is very hard on parents and very damaging for their children. It also raises a lot of important questions. What does this say about these children's long term success in school? What does it say about how adults view children's behavior?

There are many possible negative outcomes to a child being expelled from child care or school. It often results in:

What are Problem Behaviors?

Problem behaviors in children are ones that adults find hard to handle. Usually these behaviors are ones that distract others, need a lot of attention or intervention, or that may cause harm to others. They can range from children biting, hitting, spitting, being overly active, and throwing things, to hurting others or themselves. Some of these behaviors may be ageappropriate, meaning that certain age groups are known to act these ways. For example, many two or threeyearolds may hit another child when they do not want to share a toy. At these ages, children are not good at sharing and often do not use words to express their feelings, so they may hit.

child care providers, teachers, and parents who have a good knowledge of child development are often better able to handle behavior problems. It is important that adults have expectations that fit the child's age. Preschool children are very active. Some are more active than others. Sometimes a child may do something because they know they will get more attention when they do. For many children, any kind of attention is good attention.

WHEN LOOKING AT A PROBLEM BEHAVIOR, FIND OUT:

  • If there is a lot of open space in the program or classroom (could encourage running or other active behavior).
  • If there are clear program or classroom interest areas for children and they know what to do in them (if not, could encourage wandering or becoming frustrated)
  • Everything that happens around that behavior. For example: When does the behavior happen? Does it happen all the time or only sometimes? What happens before and after the behavior?
  • The group size and ratios of children and providers to see if there are enough time and attention being devoted to each child.
  • If the child is in the best kind of setting for him or her.

What Influences Behavior?

Everything and anything can influence behavior: what's around you, how you feel, something someone says to you, things that are going on in your life - all can be important influences on how you behave or what you do. This is true for everyone - children and adults.

When you look at a child's behavior, remember to always look at the behavior and label it - not the child. There is no such thing as a problem child or a bad child. The first thing to look at regarding behavior is what may be causing or influencing the behavior. A child's behavior is often a response to something that has just happened either to the child, around the child, or a reaction to what the child thinks may happen. Sometimes behavior can be a response to something that happened the day before. Every child is different.

What Parents and Providers Can Do

Parents and providers who work together as a team are a child's best chance for succeeding. It is important to note that usually before any child is dismissed from a program or center, there often will have been several instances of the child displaying problem behavior. That means there is usually time and an opportunity to find out why the child is behaving that way and to come up with solutions to try. It is best to prevent any kind of problems that may occur and the best way to do that is to know your child and know what kind of setting is best for your child.

Here are some steps that parents can take when there is a behavior concern.

Other Help is Available

Some children's behaviors are age appropriate, whether you find them pleasant or not. Some are a result of what's going on in their environment, illness, or other reasons. However, some behaviors could be the result of developmental delays, or physical or emotionalconditions that need a professional'shelp.

For parents, it can be quite scary to think that your child may have developmental issues. However, the good news is that the sooner any delays or concerns are evaluated and addressed, the better it is for your child. Early intervention is so important in helping each child achieve his or her highest potential. If you have any doubts or questions, ask your child's doctor, and find out what Early intervention services are in your area.

Remember, you are not alone. Many parents have gone through or are going through the same types of concerns, and there are many programs and services available to help you and your child.

THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN LOOKING AT BEHAVIOR:

  • Child's development: Children's behavior often indicates where they are in their growth on all levels - physically, emotionally, mentally. Regular visits to the doctor can determine if the child is growing and developing similarly to other children in his age range.
  • Child's family life: Things that go on at home affect children's behavior. Often children are affected by a family member's illness, a parent's job problem, a new baby, a move, or of course separation or divorce.
  • Child's physical well-being: Many children have physical things going on that will make them crabby and act out. Check out to see if the child with problem behaviors:
    • sleeps enough;
    • eats a well balanced diet without too many sugary foods;
    • has iron or protein deficiencies; or
    • is sick - any kind of illness could have behavioral effects.

For More Information

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