Child Care Question of the Month: You have questions, we have answers!

Parents, we know you want what's best for your children at every age and stage, we want that too! So send us your child care questions from A to Z. Our experts in the field are happy to address your questions on everything from interviewing for an infant caregiver to your child's big-kid experiences in school-age care. Visit the Child Care Question of the Month archives.

I heard a news story this week that really has me thinking about the discipline policies at my daughter's child care home. I want to investigate and be sure that difficult moments or bad behavior is handled in a way I am comfortable with but I don't want to be an intrusive/nosy parent. Can you help?

Mom, New Brighton

Gail says : Child care is the most important business relationship that any parent will ever have. I say "business relationship" because child care is very much a profession.  If your car is in the shop for repairs, do you feel that you are nosy or intrusive if you ask the mechanic what he is going to do? Probably not. Remember that in this case, you are entrusting your most precious and important responsibility, your child, to your provider every day. Surely you are within appropriate boundaries to ask questions about what goes on there.  

As professionals, licensed child care providers must adhere to a set of rules established by the state. These rules include very specific behavior guidance rules, which they must make available to parents along (see Minnesota Statutes 245A.09; 252.28) with their written policies.  An important rule for parents to be aware of is: "The provider shall discuss methods of behavior guidance with parents at the time of admission and the parent's standards shall be considered by the provider .when guiding the behavior of a child."  This language from the Child Care Rules really opens the door for you to respectfully say something along these lines; "If my child or other children use aggressive behavior, I'm wondering what works for you to address the problem."  It might be really hard to ask a question like this for the first time, but like many other things, it gets easier with practice, and you might find that it actually strengthens your relationship with your provider and leads to better discussions in the future.  Remember, you absolutely have the right to ask these types of questions, and to pop in for unannounced visits as well. 

Most providers find it more successful to focus on teaching a child what to do rather than what not to do. It may help to think of behavior problems as an opportunity to teach children new skills.

You can also listen to your gut feelings and do some careful observation.  Does your provider seem happy to see children upon arrival, and to enjoy being with them? Does she really listen to children and have positive conversations with them?  Does the atmosphere at her home seem calm and reasonably cheerful? Or, is it chaotic and tense, noisy and disorganized, with children running around rather than engaged in activities?  Does the provider notice and comment on positive behaviors while ignoring negative ones that are not a safety threat?   And most importantly, has your child ever seemed reluctant or afraid to be there?   If you do have concerns about your child care arrangement, see "Links for Families" on our website for detailed information on monitoring your child's care.  I hope this information is helpful and good luck!

Gail Mahr, Professional Development Coordinator for the Minnesota Child Care Resource and Referral Network, has been in the field of early childhood for over 13 years. She has spent time with Head Start programs and at the Greater Minneapolis Day Care Association. When asked to describe these jobs, she says, "I've done it all! Home visits, screenings and referrals, training teachers, providers and parents, consulting; helping out in classrooms and even in the kitchen once in a while. I somehow have found the time to attend over 450 hours of professional development opportunities.  Whew!  No wonder I'm tired!"

 

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